Hello Humans!
In case I have not been obvious about my lifestyle, I write. A lot. And since I write a lot, there’s often quite a bit to read. Most of my projects that need to be read are in first draft form, which means I turn to my trusty Alpha Readers!
So, for the sake of transparency, I’d like to compile a short list of ways that I have successfully trapped my alpha readers into eye-guzzling my work.
- **Hand kindle, drive at least one hour, do not return for many hours;
- Place a cat on alpha reader’s legs;
- Email incessantly;
- Place two cats on alpha reader’s legs;
- Smile, softly mention that it doesn’t look like he’s reading, continue smiling;
- Offer food;
- Ignore friend until work is read;
- Full-screen laptop, place in front of alpha reader;
- Visit alpha reader’s living space, turn objects upside-down in protest;
- Repeatedly threaten alpha reader with least favorite foods;
- Roll around on the floor, make whining noises;
- Tease plot twist, mention they’ll ‘just have to read it’, laugh maniacally;
- Ask for feedback;
- Remind alpha reader how excited you are to hear what he thought!
I hope this list is at least moderately helpful. I’ve been informed that at least one of these (**) is probably a little illegal if your human doesn’t want to do it. Try one of the other methods before this.
Good luck! May your alpha readers give you quick, quality feedback.
-ARG
Note: Please remember to release your alpha readers after your work is read, and remember to periodically give them restroom and nourishment breaks. Trust me, humans need these things.
Alpin R Geist 